I looked at pornography for the first time at age 11 and for the last time at age 61. November 2021 is when I got serious about kicking my filthy habit and forsaking my wicked sin. Gaining victory in this area of my life required 10 painful steps. Your results may vary, but if you take these 10 steps you may gain victory as well. Here they are.
- I confessed my sin to my wife and begged for her forgiveness. I admitted to her that my repeated viewing of porn was repeated adultery against her.
- I got rid of all outright pornography and everything even borderline inappropriate from my office and home, including anything found on my PC, laptop and other electronic devices.
- I installed porn-blocking and accountability software (Covenant Eyes) on all my electronic devices: work desktop, work laptop, tablet, phone. It takes screenshots of my activity and emails them to my accountability partner daily.
- I invited someone I trusted to be my Covenant Eyes accountability partner.
- I started reporting daily to my accountability partner by saying words to this effect: “Since we last talked, I have not looked at anything inappropriate, I have not searched for anything inappropriate, I have not touched myself (masturbated), and I am telling you the truth.”
- When I fell back into sin, I confessed this to God and to my accountability partner.
- Over time, and as needed, I blocked access to online porn and things that tempted me to look at porn:
- I blocked all streaming accounts on my electronic devices (Amazon Prime, Netflix, Hulu)
- I deleted all of my social media accounts (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest)
- I blocked access to YouTube, Vimeo, Dailymotion and other video-sharing sites
- I downgraded my smartphone to a dumbphone that only does calls and texts (offers zero internet access).
- I started a daily devotional journal habit where I study what the Bible says about my sexual sin, write down what I discover, and then obey what I learn by following biblical remedies for my sexual immorality.
- I refused to call my willful sin an addiction or treat it as an addiction, but instead started using scriptural language when describing my habitual sexual sin.
These 10 steps that I took are not part of a well-thought-out plan. As far as I know, they are not 10 simple steps that you can copy to gain sexual purity quickly or easily. And I didn’t take them in this order, exactly. My journey was iterative, trial-and-error, and messy. I stumbled and fell and got back up again and repented and asked God’s forgiveness and purposed to not sin again and fell again for many years before finally abstaining from pornography and masturbation for a protracted period. I eventually got 24 hours of freedom. That turned into a week. Then a month. Then multiple months back to back. Victory today still requires daily effort.
I’ve thought long and hard about what worked for me, and this is what victory looks like. I’m not saying other methods (such as a 12-step recovery group) won’t work for you. I’m only giving my testimony about the 10 essential steps that I took to abstain from pornography and masturbation. If these 10 steps help you too, awesome. And may God get all the glory.
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