And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit.
Ephesians 5:18
How do you quit porn? Do you quit porn by quitting porn? Do you avoid starchy food by avoiding starchy food? Do you exercise more often by exercising more?
One of the keys to abstaining from pornography is developing healthy habits to replace this wicked one. You avoid porn by doing something else. This is what Paul has in mind when he tells you and me to avoid getting drunk by being filled with the Spirit. You avoid the one by doing the other. You quit porn by doing something else.
But this is where plenty of brothers fail. They find a healthy substitute for their sexual immorality, and purpose to do the one instead of the other. But they fix their eyes on the finish line and not on the starting blocks. They fix theirs eyes on the cure and not on the prevention. Let me show you what I mean.
Let’s say you want to lose weight. That’s your goal. So you purpose to wake each morning and go for a five-mile walk before breakfast. You wake up each morning and think to yourself, “Time for my morning walk. Walking each morning is my goal.” The trouble is, sometimes you go for that walk, but other times you don’t. The secret is to change what you do when you wake up. Don’t just wake up intending to go for your walk. Instead, as soon as your feet touch the floor in the morning, walk over to your dresser and put on your exercise outfit. Create a new habit. Wake up. Get out of bed. Put on your tracksuit. You will then go for that morning walk.
This is the key to developing a healthy habit to replace a sinful one. Don’t look at the goal (losing weight), or even the intended prevention (walking). Instead, develop a habit of taking the first step (excuse the pun) that leads to the activity that leads to the goal. You don’t lose weight by walking—you lose weight by putting your tracksuit on every morning.
So, let’s get practical where pornography is concerned. You must avoid it by replacing it. Let’s say you want to do that by reading your Bible each day. Your goal is quitting porn. Your method is Bible reading. But what’s your first step, the one guaranteed to get you reading your Bible daily? Is it wishful thinking? Is it gumption? No. You need a new routine. So, here’s what you do. Buy an alarm clock. Charge your phone in another room at night (not beside your bed). Put your Bible on top of that phone. When your alarm goes off, get dressed, walk into the other room, and pick up your Bible. Look at God’s word before you look at your phone.
If porn is a habit with you, be encouraged to know that you can replace it with a healthier habit. Replace your porn triggers* with spiritual triggers.
* In the context of habitual use of pornography, sometimes called porn addiction, anything internal or external that causes a person to crave pornography is called a trigger. Triggers can be people, places, thoughts, sounds and sights.
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