The Bible doesn’t mention the words masturbation or masturbating. That means pleasuring yourself is OK, right? Not so fast. Just because the Bible doesn’t mention something doesn’t mean it’s allowed. You must dig deeper if you want to discover why masturbation is a sin.
Just consider some other sexual activities that aren’t in the Bible. We’re talking exhibitionism, voyeurism, fetishism, frotteurism, obscene phone calls and sexual sadism. Because the Bible is silent concerning these activities, does that mean they are allowed? Of course not. Take frotteurism, for instance. Frotteurism is “the act of touching or rubbing one’s genitals up against a non-consenting person in a sexual manner.” The Bible never says anything about frotteurism. But I don’t know any Christians who would argue that frotteurism is OK simply because the Bible doesn’t mention it.
What we’re talking about here is the silence of Scripture. Since the early days of the Church, believers have struggled in this area. Some argued then, and still do today, that if the Bible doesn’t expressly forbid something, then it’s allowed. Others argued then, and still do today, that if the Bible doesn’t expressly authorize something, then it’s forbidden. In real life, this is what these two positions look like:
- The Bible doesn’t expressly forbid drums in worship, therefore they are allowed
- The Bible doesn’t expressly authorize drums in worship, therefore they are forbidden
The problem with each of these positions is that the Bible couldn’t possibly be large enough to mention every forbidden act or every authorized act. Plus, you face the problem of innovation. Technologies exist today that didn’t exist when the Holy Spirit inspired the authors to write the books of the Bible (that’s why the Bible is silent about Tinder and virtual reality headsets). There is simply no way that the Bible could be a rule book that governs every possible activity for all time.
And yet, when it comes to the topic of masturbation, some Christian men use the Bible as their authority—sort of. They favor the first position rather than the second one. They argue that the Bible doesn’t expressly forbid masturbation, so it must be OK. They use the silence of Scripture to justify their masturbation. But this is never a wise move. Silence is never permission. Or prohibition.
You and I know that exposing our genitals in public is a sin even though the Bible neither forbids nor authorizes exhibitionism. We know that peeping though windows to watch others undressing or having sex is wrong even though the Bible is silent on the topic of voyeurism. The same goes for masturbation. If you and I study the Scriptures with an open heart, asking God to guide our thoughts, and meditating on God’s express design for sex as something that takes place only between a husband and wife (God has spoken expressly on this topic), we will discover soon enough why masturbation is sin.
Masturbation is a Sin Because the Cure for Sexual Urges Is Marriage, Not Masturbation
“But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”
1 Corinthians 7:8-9 NKJV
The remedy for raging teenage hormones, sexual urges, lustful thoughts and pent up sexual energy is never masturbation. This is the clear teaching of Scripture. Is masturbation a sin in the Bible? Yes.
Paul is writing here to the church at Corinth about sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 7:1-2). He says to the believers there: “Because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.” In other words, to avoid having premarital sex, a man should marry one woman, and a woman should marry one man.
But this naturally raises a question. What are single people to do with their sexual urges? What are widows to do with their sexual desires? Masturbate? No. Marry. If masturbation was a legitimate way to release sexual tension, Paul would say so. Pleasuring yourself is certainly faster and cheaper, and more convenient, and involves less commitment, than marrying someone. But self-pleasuring is not an option for a Christian.
But what if a single person or widow can’t marry? Isn’t masturbation OK then? No, it’s not, as Paul clearly says. Unmarried individuals and widows who struggle with sexual passion are to exercise self-control. They are not to masturbate—they are to exercise restraint. And if they can’t control themselves, if their sexual desires and passions are more than they can bear, they are to marry.
Is masturbation a sin in the Bible? Yes. Because there are only two biblical outlets for sexual desire. One is self-control. The other is marriage. Pick one.
Masturbation Is a Sin Because Your Marital Duty is to Your Wife, Not to Yourself
“Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband.”
1 Corinthians 7:3 NKJV
One of the mysteries of marriage is that two become one. This is God’s design, one that He instituted back in the Garden of Eden, at the start of human history, with Adam and Eve: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Genesis 2:24.
A husband and wife become one in the act of marriage, that is to say, through sexual intercourse. Before their wedding night, they are two individuals. After their wedding night, they are one flesh. Two complete and separate individuals unite to become one in a permanent, unbreakable, life-long union of God’s design. We see the fruit of this unique union in children. A child is a whole and separate individual created by the union of two others. Two create one.
When a man and a woman come together in marriage, they bring their sexual needs into the marriage with them. Both the wife and the husband are entitled to have sex, but the person who is to fulfill those sexual desires is the opposite spouse—no one else. This rules out sex with people outside the marriage (adultery), and sex with oneself (masturbation).
“Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her” means the husband should “fulfill his marital duty to his wife” (NIV). His marital duty is to have sex with his wife when she wants it. And the wife is to do the same. She is to have sex with her husband when he wants it. Both are to do so with mutual respect and consent.
Notice the language of Scripture here. Sex is something that is “due” the wife. She is entitled to have sex with her husband. And the husband has a “marital duty,” a responsibility within the marriage, to meet the sexual needs of his wife. When the wife has sexual needs, she is not to satisfy them on her own through masturbation. When the husband has sexual needs, he is not to satisfy them on his own by pleasuring himself. Sex is what the other spouse is for.
Sex is literally designed to take place between a male and a female, between a husband and a wife. Sex requires two people joining as one. What this means in daily life is that neither a husband nor a wife are to take matters into their own hands where sex is concerned. If they want to have sex, they are to turn to their spouse. Not someone else. And not themself.
Masturbation Is a Sin Because You Gave Authority Over Your Body to Your Wife
“The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.“
1 Corinthians 7:4 NKJV
I know a Christian man who thought that getting married would end his compulsive masturbating. It didn’t. He looked at pornography and masturbated to pornography for the first 20 years of his marriage. Finally, he got so sick of his sin, and of hiding it from his wife, that he confessed all.
He was surprised at his wife’s reaction. “I thought you had lost interest in me, that you no longer found me attractive, and so that was the reason we didn’t make love as often as we used to,” she said. The husband was ashamed, learning that he had not been meeting his wife’s sexual needs. He had thought that his masturbating was a private sin that didn’t hurt his wife. He was wrong.
What this brother failed to appreciate is that, once he got married, his body wasn’t his to make decisions about anymore. He didn’t grasp the truth of what Paul meant. He didn’t understand that he no longer had authority over his own body. His wife now had that authority. He didn’t have the authority to use his body for adultery, sodomy or any other acts of uncleanness. And he didn’t have the authority to use his body for masturbation.
When you married your wife, you gave her authority over your body. That means you gave her decision-making power over when you have sex, and you lost any authority to have sex with anyone else, including yourself. Only your wife has claim to your body for sex. She alone has power over it, to claim the use of it whenever she pleases (with your consent and cooperation, of course).
When you masturbate, you defraud your wife. You take something that she alone has authority over and you use it for your own selfish pleasure. You exclude her from your marriage bed. This is theft, pure and simple, as the brother I know learned to his shame. For 20 years, he robbed his wife of her sexual fulfilment by pleasuring himself. He had sex regularly, just not with her. His selfishness hurt his wife deeply. She thought their lack of sex was her fault, when all the time the blame lay in the hands of the man she chose above all others to be faithful to for life.
Why You Can’t Pray and Masturbate at the Same Time
“And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a debased mind, to do those things which are not fitting; being filled with all unrighteousness, sexual immorality, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, evil-mindedness; they are whisperers.”
Romans 1:28-29 NKJV
When God gives up on an individual, He gives them over to sexual immorality. Habitual sexual sin is one symptom of a heart hardened towards God, of a mind that no longer likes to retain a knowledge of God. The wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who suppress the truth in unrighteousness (Romans 1:18).
If you are a Christian man who habitually masturbates to pornography, and if you desire to quit, reverse-engineer this text to uncover the cause of your bondage—and the remedy. Don’t look to your childhood. Don’t listen to Celebrate Recovery and other 12-step recovery programs that tell you that you use pornography to self-medicate. “You were spiritually wounded as a child,” these groups tell you, meeting after meeting, “and you masturbate to porn as an adult to dull the pain.” Ignore this misdiagnosis. Reverse-engineer the text instead.
As a class of people, those who practice habitual, compulsive, sexual sin are filled with unrighteousness. They practice those things that are not fitting because God has given them over to a debased mind. And God has given them over to a debased mind because they did not like to retain God in their knowledge. I realize, of course, that this passage from Romans is describing the ungodly and reprobate, that class of hardened sinners that God will one day punish with everlasting fire. These are the people that God has given up on. This passage is not written about the redeemed, those who have been born again through faith in the atoning work of Christ, and His resurrection, for them. But this trajectory still holds true in your life and mine.
We can’t watch porn and masturbate month in, month out, year after year, and think that our minds are sanctified. We can’t practice habitual sexual sin and think that we have a correct knowledge of God. The sign of a reprobate mind is that it first chooses to no longer retain a knowledge of God, then it becomes debased, then it enjoys practicing sexual immorality, and then it eventually approves of others who do the same (Romans 1:32). Sounds like the porn industry. Romans chapter 1 does not teach that you, as an individual, today, are on your way to the lake of fire because of your sexual sin. But it does teach you how unrepentant, sexually immoral people get that way. They start by choosing to no longer retain God in their knowledge. They turn their backs on God, so He does the same with them. The way back for you and me is to get back to God. When we start retaining God in our knowledge again, when we start acknowledging God as our creator, law-giver and redeemer, the porn and masturbation stop.
Masturbation is a Sin Because You Can’t Do it in Faith
“But he who doubts is condemned if he eats, because he does not eat from faith; for whatever is not from faith is sin.”
Romans 14:23 NKJV
Around 55,000 Christians go online every month and search to discover if masturbation is a sin. They boot up Google and type: “is masturbation a sin” (15,589 searches), “is masturbating a sin” (6,544 searches), “is masturbation a sin according to the bible” (6,494 searches), “what does the bible say about masturbation” (4,774 searches), “is jerking off a sin” (2,400 searches), “is touching yourself a sin” (1,900 searches), “what does the bible say about self satisfaction” (921 searches).
As you can see, some Christians are too embarrassed to even type the word into Google. They call it “jerking off,” “touching yourself,” “self satisfaction,” “playing with yourself,” “sex with yourself,” and other euphemisms. All of this provers that tens of thousands of Christians (a whopping 660,000 a year on Google alone) don’t have a clear conscience when it comes to masturbation. And these are just the ones we know about by analyzing Google keyword search volumes. Others use Bing or another search engine. But the majority likely don’t search at all.
Why do so many Christians search to discover if masturbation is a sin? Because their conscience troubles them. Their conscience makes them feel guilty and ashamed after the act, so they suspect that the act must be wrong. They do the act in private, and keep it a secret from their fiancé or spouse, so they naturally suspect that it must be sin. But they don’t find a clear command in the Bible prohibiting masturbation, so they turn to Google.
But the better place to turn is the 14th chapter of the Book of Romans, verse 23. Here Paul spells out the universal rule to use whenever contemplating a dodgy act. “Whatever is not from faith,” says Paul, “is sin.” In other words, if you cannot do something with full conviction that the action is right, that action is sinful. If you doubt that something is correct, don’t do it, because doing it is sin. For you to take any action, you must be persuaded that it is right, proper and good. You cannot doubt. If you doubt, you are condemned (read the first part of the verse again).
Bear in mind that the converse of this rule is not true. Just because you believe something is OK, that doesn’t mean it’s not a sin. Saul thought he was right in persecuting the church. He was wrong. The Jews thought they were right in killing Jesus. They were mistaken. Which brings us back to the topic of masturbation. You can’t do it with a clear conscience because you can’t masturbate in faith. Since you doubt, don’t.
Masturbation Is a Sin Because You Can’t Do it to the Glory of God
“Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”
1 Corinthians 10:31
The great first principle of walking with the Lord is that no act is innately secular or spiritual. You can serve tables in a diner in a high Christian spirit. And you can preach the gospel in a secular spirit. What matters in the Christian life is not the outward act, but the spirit in which you perform that act. A secular act done to the glory of God is spiritual. A religious act done in a secular spirit is secular.
This great first principle of the Christian life governs every activity you do, from the most mundane to the most sublime. It’s what Paul communicates to the church at Corinth, and to believers everywhere, even to where you are living right now, when he says, “Whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” “Whatever” and “all” are all encompassing. They cover everything you do, whether in public or in private.
This rule of life is vital for applying in those areas of life that they Bible is silent on, such as the entertainment you watch and the career you pursue. The Bible doesn’t say you can’t watch Game of Thrones, for example. And it doesn’t say you can’t earn your living by authoring smutty novels. But can you do these things to the glory of God? That’s your yardstick.
Which raises the question, can you masturbate to the glory of God? Can you get alone and pleasure yourself, believing that what you are doing pleases God? Can you play with yourself, believing that your solo sexual activity honors God? Do you glorify God when you satisfy yourself? If someone peers in the window and sees you masturbating, will you lead them by your example to praise God and embrace His gospel? The answers to these questions are self-evident.
You glorify God when you entertain reverential and holy thoughts about Him, when you obey His laws, when you thank Him for his providential kindnesses, when you advance His plans and interests, and when you act in ways that draw people closer to our Creator, Lawgiver and Savior. Any act that you do that falls short of this standard fails to glorify God. I would go a step further. Masturbating dishonors God.
Masturbation Fails the Discipleship Test
“Then He said to them all, ‘If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me.'”
Luke 9:23
If you want to discover if masturbation is a sin, simply examine one of the prices of discipleship for following Jesus. Jesus teaches that if you want to be His disciple, you must deny yourself. Since masturbation is a selfish act that satisfies the flesh rather than deny it, anyone who masturbates fails this fundamental requirement of being a disciple of Jesus.
When Jesus commands you and me to deny ourselves, he uses a word that means to disavow, to reject, to abnegate. It is a word that means to refuse to affirm something, to refuse to confess something, or to refuse to identify with someone or something. It means to contradict, to repudiate, to disown. Get the idea? To be a disciple of Jesus, you and I must take our desires and refuse to affirm them. We must take the urge to look at pornography and repudiate it. We must take the temptation to masturbate and disown it, reject it and refuse to identify with it.
Discipleship is a life of self-denial. We deny ourselves in order to identify with and follow Jesus. And denying ourselves isn’t an abstract notion. To deny yourself means to deny your ambitions, to reject your plans, to repudiate your will in favor of doing what Jesus desires for your life. To deny yourself means to refuse to identify with your carnal lusts and sexually immoral desires, and to embrace the holy desires that Jesus wants you to have.
There is simply no way that you or I can masturbate and think that we are denying ourselves. We can’t reject our lustful thoughts by giving in to them. We can’t refuse sexual temptation by indulging it. We can’t practice self-denial by practicing self-pleasure. I realize that this is unwelcome news for many Christian men. But this is the price of discipleship, given to us by the Master. Following Jesus shouldn’t be easy. Being a disciple of Jesus costs you something—your right to yourself.
Masturbation Is a Sin Because You Do it in Secret
“And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of those things which are done by them in secret.”
Ephesians 5:11-12
If you are still trying to decide if masturbation is sin, simply ask yourself this: “Would I mind if my wife/fiancé/girlfriend/parents saw me performing the act?” If I was all alone, doing the deed, and they walked in and saw me, how would I feel? OK? Ashamed? Not bothered a bit? Mortified?
One of the evidences of sin is that people practice it in secret. Burglars break in at night. Couples committing adultery meet in faraway motels. Online fraudsters use fake names. Bank robbers mask their faces. Murderers wear gloves. Same goes for habitual sexual sins. Men who are hooked on pornography watch it in secret. Husbands who visit prostitutes pay cash so the transaction doesn’t show on their credit cards. And men who masturbate do so in private.
Not everything done in private is sin, of course. You and I get dressed each morning with the curtains drawn because we don’t want anyone to see us naked. But that is simple modesty. There is nothing sinful about getting dressed. If you are married, you and your wife make love with the door closed not because sex is sinful but because sex between a husband and a wife is a private matter. If you are caught in the act you will feel embarrassed, but you shouldn’t feel ashamed.
But masturbation is different, isn’t it? You don’t need to read any Bible verses to know why masturbation is sin. If you do it in private because you fear getting caught, if you hide the evidence after the deed is done, and if you keep the activity a secret from those you love and whose approval you wish to maintain, then you have your answer. If it is a shame to even speak of the things that the wicked do in secret, then the acts themselves are obviously also wicked.
The shame you feel after masturbating is good. It is God’s way of telling you that having sex with yourself is wrong. Your conscience is your friend. So listen to it. Just remember that if you ignore your friends for long enough, they eventually stop talking to you.
Masturbation Sends a Man to the Prison of Himself
C.S. Lewis
For me the real evil of masturbation would be that it takes an appetite which, in lawful use, leads the individual out of himself to complete (and correct) his own personality in that of another (and finally in children and even grandchildren) and turns it back: sending the man back into the prison of himself, there to keep a harem of imaginary brides.
And this harem, once admitted, works against his ever getting out and really uniting with a real woman. For the harem is always accessible, always subservient, calls for no sacrifice or adjustments, and can be endowed with erotic and psychological attractions which no real woman can rival.
Among these shadowy brides he is always adored, always the perfect lover: no demand is made on his unselfishness, no mortification is ever imposed on his vanity. In the end, they become merely the medium through which he increasingly adores himself.
Do read Charles Williams’ Descent into Hell, and study the character of Mr. Wentworth. And it is not only the faculty of love which is thus sterilized, forced back on itself, but also the faculty of imagination.
The true exercise of imagination, in my view, is (a) To help us to understand other people (b) To respond to, and, some of us, to produce art. But it has also a bad use: to provide for us, in shadowy form, a substitute for virtues, successes, distinctions, et cetera which ought to be sought outside in the real world — e.g., picturing all I’d do if I were rich instead of earning and saving.
Masturbation involves this abuse of imagination in erotic matters (which I think bad in itself) and thereby encourages a similar abuse of it in all spheres.
After all, almost the main work of life is to come out of our selves, out of the little, dark prison we are all born in. Masturbation is be avoided as all things are to be avoided which retard this process. The danger is that of coming to love the prison.
Excerpted from Yours, Jack, by C.S. Lewis.
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