10 Things I’ve Learned After 10 Months Porn Free

I looked at pornography for the last time on November 4, 2021. I remember the date because that is the day I started this daily devotional. My goal was to help Christian men (and myself) abstain from pornography biblically. Here I am, 10 months later, and I have not looked at any pornography since then, and neither have I masturbated. Here are some lessons I’ve learned along my journey.

1. Pastors don’t want to address the issue of porn
   Some pastors and church elders refuse to address the issue of pornography or masturbation from the pulpit or in private in any meaningful way with brothers in the congregation.
2. Temptation can come anytime, anywhere
   A few days ago I visited a beach on a remote lake in Northern Saskatchewan. I was the only person on the beach. I suddenly experienced a strong temptation to take matters into my own hands, as it were. I was surprised at the suddenness of the urge, and that it struck in such an odd place. I resisted it nevertheless.
3. I don’t feel it if I don’t feed it
   Despite what I just said, I have discovered that the temptation to masturbate typically arrives only if I have seen something provocative. The longer I go without looking at anything sexually immoral, the less temptation I feel to masturbate.
4. Quitting porn on my own is possible
   I quit pornography without the help of a 12-step group, therapist or anyone else other than my accountability partner and the Lord.
5. Quitting porn “cold turkey” is possible
   I didn’t gradually stop looking at porn. I stopped on November 4, 2021 cold turkey, after 50 years of looking at porn, and haven’t relapsed since.
6. Going 10 months without masturbating hasn’t killed me
   When I quit, I had no idea what 10 months of no self-pleasuring looked like. But 10 months have passed since I last committed that sin, and I am still alive.
7. Quitting masturbation is harder than quitting porn
   After 10 months of sexual purity, the temptation to masturbate is stronger than the urge to look at porn. Avoiding self-pleasuring takes more willpower and more prayer than avoiding sexually explicit materials.
8. Having electronic accountability is a lifesaver
   I don’t think I would have lasted 10 months without Covenant Eyes installed on all my electronic devices (desktop PC, laptop, tablet, phone). It monitors my activity and sends screenshots of concerning images to my accountability partner. Without this deterrent, I likely would have sinned.
9. Avoiding the second look is getting easier
   I am writing this in September. This means I have endured a summer of tantalizing sights on the street, on the beach, in my neighborhood. But I have discovered that avoiding the second look gets easier over time, provided that I stay close to the Lord.
10. My porn problem is me
    When I started this journey, my focus was outward. I saw pornography as a battle with outward forces, such as websites, phone apps, image-sharing sites and video-hosting sites. But now I see that my enemy is me. Studying the scriptures these past 10 months has taught me that I have a problem with porn and sexual immorality because I am wicked. I have a wicked heart. I want to look at porn because I lust, and I lust because my heart is sinful. My problem isn’t outward, but inward. The remedy for my sin isn’t porn-blocking software and other external defenses (although they help tremendously). My remedy is Christ, and His power in my life. What I need is a transformed heart.