I looked at pornography as a Christian for 30 years. In all that time, I knew that my sin was wicked, and that God hated it. I wanted to quit. I tried to quit, multiple times, and in multiple ways. And I did achieve sexual purity for a season. But I never lasted for long. That all changed when my 30th anniversary as a Christian arrived. I finally realized how ridiculous it all was, me still struggling with a besetting sin after 30 years for crying out loud. So, I got serious, and made some drastic changes in my life to quit porn.
Today marks my six-month anniversary of not looking at pornography and not doing the physical act that usually follows it. I have learned a few lessons on this journey, so here they are.
- Sexual Purity is Possible: I can last six months without looking at pornography and not die. I can go six months without touching myself and the world doesn’t end. This isn’t a fact that I knew when I started. At the beginning, I couldn’t imagine a six-month stretch of sexual purity. I had been in my sin for so long, grown so accustomed to the rollercoaster of sin-shame-repentance-sin, that I had lost sight of what was possible.
- Going Porn-Free Gets Easier: I don’t have the cravings today that I had during the first few weeks after I quit. The urges today are not as strong, nor as frequent, as they were six months ago. I don’t think inappropriate thoughts as often as I did. I am not tempted as strongly to take the second look. My libido has moderated.
- Wicked Memories Fade: Once I stopped feeding my brain with pornographic images and videos, all that my sinful flesh had to work with to tempt me was my memories. If I thought of the porn I had watched in the past, I got aroused, and was tempted to sin. But I discovered that, as each day passed, those memories faded. Recalling them in any type of clarity got harder with time. Praise the Lord.
- Sexual Purity is a Daily Battle: This will sound like a bumper sticker, but victory over sexual sin happens a day at a time. After all, I didn’t get victory over my sin for six months, exactly. I got victory for one day. Followed by another day. And then another. Eventually, those days added up to 181 days—six months.
- God’s Word Purifies: One thing I have been doing over the past six months that I didn’t do during my 30 years of sexual sin is opening my Bible each day to discover what God has to say about sexual immorality. God has plenty to say to me on the subject. When I read what God says, meditate on His precepts, and then write down what I have learned, I gain a powerful incentive to abstain from porn each day. I can’t peruse porn and pursue God at the same time.
- A Clear Conscience is Priceless: The worst part about looking at porn was the shame I felt afterwards. I went about for decades with a seared conscience. I felt guilt and shame over sinning against God, sinning against my wife, and being a hypocrite as a Christian. But today my conscience is clear where pornography and self-stimulation are concerned. The guilt is gone. The shame has vanished. I have a clear conscience between me and God, and between me and my wife. Going six months without deleting my browsing history or deceiving anyone feels awesome.
- Temptation Doesn’t Vanish: I am still tempted from time to time to click on a link, linger over an image, visit a website or in other ways sin sexually. I wish I wasn’t tempted. My life would be a lot easier if I had zero urges to commit sexual immorality. But the New Testament never contemplates the Christian life free of temptation, so neither do I. I accept that I will face sexual temptation, and I guard myself accordingly.
- Christ is the Answer: My goal in achieving and maintaining sexual purity is not to become a saint and have a college named after me. My goal is to please my Savior. Jesus saved me from my sins 30 years ago, and He is my hope and strength today. I want to abstain from sexual immorality so that I can deny myself, take up my cross, and follow Him. I want to stay porn-free so that I am free to serve the One who loved me and gave himself for me.
If you are struggling with pornography, if it has a grip on you that you seem unable to shake, be encouraged. I went porn-free for 24 hours. You can, too. Then I did the same thing the next day. You can, too. Before I knew it, I had six months of sexual purity behind me. You can, too. You can follow the steps I took to quit porn biblically, or you can create your own, with God’s help. I wish you every success. Just promise me you won’t take 30 years to get started, OK?
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