Quit Porn Biblically

(This is the transcript of my 60-minute course of the same name. Watch the course here.)

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Two of the primary problems with pornography are that it’s available and that it’s anonymous. You can access porn from anywhere, 24 hours a day, and you can do so without anyone knowing. To quit porn, you must meet these two problems head-on. Here’s how you do it.

Install a porn-blocker

If you are serious about quitting porn, install porn-blocking software on all of your electronic devices. That means your desktop PC, laptop, tablet, and phone. I use Covenant Eyes. Porn blockers, also known as porn filters, block pornographic websites, apps and images from showing up on your devices. They help you “make no provision for the flesh” digitally, and automatically. The best porn blockers also let you add inappropriate website addresses. Any time you stumble upon a website that’s guaranteed to trigger lust in you, you add it to your blocked list. If you don’t trust yourself to not look at porn, trust a porn-blocker. Porn blockers protect you from your greatest source of sexual temptation–you.

Install an electronic accountability app

Want to discover the easiest and fastest way to avoid falling to sexual temptation online? Get caught. Arrange your life so that anytime you look at porn, someone catches you in the act, and then confronts you about your sin. Do this by installing an accountability app on all of your electronic devices. Then, if you visit an inappropriate website with your laptop, or look at sinful videos on your phone, or browse sexually immoral images on your tablet while at work, the app takes screenshots of your activity and emails them to your accountability partner. Then your accountability partner sees those images, and confronts you. The fear of getting caught in the act keeps you from doing the act.

Get an accountability partner

The main reason for having an accountability partner is so that you don’t struggle alone. Your partner helps you stay on the path, encourages you when you fall, rebukes you in love when your thinking is off, and helps you keep Christ as the focus of your life. Your accountability partner must be someone you trust. Ideally, it should be someone who has victory in the area of sexual temptation. In other words, they don’t look at porn. And they don’t do the act that usually goes along with looking at porn. You add this partner to your accountability app so that they get notified whenever you look at porn. Knowing for sure that you will get caught keeps you pure when you are tempted sexually.

Be accountable to your accountability partner

This will sound redundant, but if you want to quit porn, you must be accountable to your accountability partner. Accountability requires two things: frequency, and honesty. You must meet with your accountability partner often enough that they help you avoid sexual temptation. And you must be candid about your progress. One way to be honest is to have your accountability partner ask you three simple questions each time you talk: 1. Have you been tempted sexually since we last talked? 2. Have you fallen to sexual sin since we last talked? 3. What biblical steps have you taken, and are you taking, to improve this situation? I started gaining consistent victory over sexual temptation only after I began making myself accountable to someone.

Don’t be deceived

In his first letter to the church at Corinth, the Apostle Paul warns that the sexually immoral will not inherit the kingdom of God. He emphatically warns, “Do not be deceived” about this. What about you? Do you think you can look at porn repeatedly, habitually, compulsively, and yet still inherit the kingdom of God? In other words, can you engage in habitual sin that makes you sexually immoral, but still believe that you will inherit the kingdom of God? If you are a professing Christian man who is in bondage to porn, this might be your problem–you are deceived. You believe that you can be sexually immoral and inherit the kingdom of God. You can’t. That’s impossible. Don’t believe anyone who tells you otherwise.

Obey God’s revealed will for your life

You find the ultimate key to quitting porn in 1 Thessalonians 4:3: “For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication.” If you want to quit porn, obey God’s will, starting right now. “Abstain from fornication” means desist, refrain, cease, discontinue–stop. Fornication means sexual immorality, that is, any act that defies God’s commands about sexual relations. This includes adultery, sex outside of marriage, sex with animals, sex with children, sex with close family members, viewing porn, and masturbation. There are some things you don’t know about God’s will for your life. But porn isn’t one of them. You know God’s will for you right now. You must abstain from, cease, discontinue, stop looking at porn. So start obeying, starting right now.

Understand Why You Are in Your Present Predicament

If you want to quit porn, you must understand why you are where you are today, that is, you must come to terms with why are in your present predicament. Here are the main reasons.

You view porn because it’s available

You are living during the worst time in human history as far as sexual temptation is concerned. You face more temptations, of greater strength, in more places, at more times of the day, than any other man ever faced in the past. Your challenge as a Christian man is that pornography is Available with a capital A. If you carry a smartphone, you have 24-hour access to pornography of the most wicked sort right in your pocket. This helps to explain your struggle, because your battle with porn is understandable. You didn’t ask to have all of this temptation available to you all the time, everywhere you go. This doesn’t excuse your sin, of course. But it helps to explain it. You are hooked on porn partly because it’s available.

You view porn because it’s affordable

There was a time when pornography was avoidable because it was unaffordable. Christian men like you and me had an easier time staying sexually pure because every form of pornography on the market, whether the open market or the black market, cost something. This made the battle for purity a lot easier, because men never got snared by something they couldn’t afford. Today, of course, this has all changed. Roughly 75% of all pornographic websites publish either some or all of their content free of charge. This is partly why you are presently struggling to quit porn. If porn was impossibly expensive to acquire, you would be free, and you and I wouldn’t be having this conversation. You are hooked on porn partly because it’s affordable.

You view porn because it’s anonymous

Pornography is powerful precisely because it’s the sin you do in secret that no one knows about. If the only way you could watch porn was on a computer in a public place, you wouldn’t be struggling. If your electronic devices broadcast your online activity to your spouse, kids, teacher, boss, police department and other people of influence, you wouldn’t watch porn. Part of the reason you are drawn back to your habitual sin is not your fault. If pornography was only available in public, you would be sexually pure. If you were guaranteed to get caught every time you viewed wicked images and videos, you would attain and maintain sexual purity soon enough. You are hooked on porn partly because it’s anonymous.

You view porn because it’s pleasurable

You view porn because it’s pleasurable. When you look at pornography, your body releases unnaturally high levels of dopamine into your brain, creating feelings of euphoria and bliss. Dopamine acts as a reward system. Your brain responds to dopamine by desiring the activity that triggers it. This is the primary reason that porn is so habit-forming–it makes you feel awesome. It alters your brain chemistry, making you crave more porn with every use. This is one of the reasons that you feel so conflicted as a Christian who looks at porn. Your faith says it’s wrong, but your body says it’s amazing. God’s word commands you to abstain from sexual immorality, but your brain says, “go ahead, enjoy that awesome feeling again.” Giving up anything that makes you feel good is hard.

You view porn because your heart is wicked

You view porn because your heart is wicked. Jesus says, “For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies. These are the things which defile a man.” Your heart isn’t wicked because you watch porn. You watch porn because your heart is wicked. YOU are your porn problem. To conquer porn, you must change what your heart desires. This is why David asked God to give him a new heart. After David committed adultery with Bathsheba, he prayed to God, “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” Notice the difference. His spirit only needed to be renewed. But his heart had to be created. He needed a new heart.

You view porn because of unbelief

You are hooked on porn partly because of your unbelief. You don’t believe that your sexual immorality will lead you to hell. But Jesus says otherwise. “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.” Your failure to quit your compulsive use of pornography and to forsake masturbation is evidence of your unbelief. But that can change, of course.

Your remedy is to reverse these causes

The key to quitting porn is understanding, and action. You must understand why you watch porn in the first place. And then you must take the actions that reverse those causes. You view porn because it’s available, affordable, and anonymous. So, you must take steps to make it unavailable, unaffordable, and public. You view porn because it’s pleasurable, and because your heart is wicked. So, you must transform your thinking and your desires so that they align with God’s will for your life. You must spend time in God’s word, spend time praying to God, and consecrate your life daily so that you no longer love what God hates, and do what God forbids. At its root, watching porn is a sin of unbelief. So put your trust in God, you’ll quit porn.

Count the Cost of Failing to Forsake Porn

If you have been trying for any length of time to quit porn, succeeding and failing, getting the victory and then falling, you must understand what your future looks like if you refuse to forsake porn. The stakes are high. Here’s what you need to know to count the cost of failing to repent, and of failing to forsake your sexual immorality.

Pornography is progressive

For you to quit porn, you must understand that pornography is progressive. Men who view pornography for any length of time need ever-harder forms of the product. They must graduate to something more wicked, more hardcore, more illegal, to get the same level of arousal they once enjoyed with milder stuff. Talk with any sexual offender serving time for rape, child sexual abuse or worse, and you’ll find a man who started his journey with softcore pornography at a young age–and kept going.

Pornography is punitive

Pornography is not only progressive. It’s also punitive. Unless you forsake porn and abstain from it, you will pay the consequences. Think loss of your testimony, your marriage, access to your kids. Think sexually transmitted diseases, unwanted pregnancy, getting fired, scandal, jail, your name on the Sexual Offender Registry. Pornography use increases marital infidelity by 300%. Roughly 40% of people who identify as sex addicts lose their spouse, 58% suffer considerable financial loss, and 33% lose their jobs. The course of porn use is always downward.

Porn leads you to the Lake of fire

The ultimate penalty for consuming porn is the Lake of Fire. The Bible says, “Do you not know that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived, neither sexually immoral, nor idolators, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.” Notice that these are not sins, but sinners. These are people: idolaters, adulterers, the sexually immoral. And these people will not inherit the kingdom of God. In other words, they are not heirs to the kingdom. They are not God’s children. God is not their father. So, they will receive nothing from God by way of inheritance when they die.

Your sin harms others

One way to quit porn is to appreciate that your sin harms others. Watching pornography isn’t a victimless crime. Each time you look at a woman to lust after her, you sin against four people. You sin against God, you sin against your spouse (current or future), you sin against yourself, and you sin against the woman you lust after. Many of the so-called “porn stars” that you watch are dead by the time you see them, either from suicide, drug overdose, or murder at the hands of their traffickers. When you watch porn, you sin against someone’s daughter, someone’s granddaughter, someone’s sister. For their sakes, please stop. This doesn’t have to be your primary motivation for quitting porn, but it’s a good one.

You are not a porn addict

One thing you must do if you are to break free from the grip of porn is to admit that you are not a porn addict. If you consume pornography habitually, you are a sinner, a voluntary slave to sin–not a porn addict. The longer you view yourself as a victim, an addict who needs treatment, recovery, and hand-holding, the longer you will take to repent of your sin and conquer pornography. “Christian porn addict” is an oxymoron, right up there with exact estimate, working vacation, and civil war. If you watch, read, or listen to pornography habitually, God calls you an adulterer, a fornicator, void of understanding, deceived, and wicked–but never a helpless addict.

Look to God for Your Deliverance

Your ultimate victory over porn is the power of the risen Lord in your life. Porn-blocking software helps. Having an accountability partner helps. Even 12-step recovery programs help. But lasting victory only happens when you embrace God’s will for your life, surrender yourself to Him, and live each day in the power of the Holy Spirit. Here are a few ways to do this.

Start with God

You find the ultimate key to quitting porn in 1 Thessalonians 4:3: “For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication.” Notice the order. God, God’s will, your sanctification, you abstaining from porn and other sexual immorality. When you put God first, you come to know His will, when you know and follow his will, you become sanctified, when you become sanctified, you abstain from porn and sexual immorality. Your goal isn’t to quit porn. Your goal is to know God, obey His will for you, become sanctified, and then to abstain from porn as a result. Don’t start at the wrong end of this verse. Your goal is to know and love and obey God first. The rest will follow.

Spend time with God

To quit porn biblically, you must put God first. And you put God first by spending time with Him. You spend time reading God’s Word, and you spend time in prayer. When you read the Bible, God speaks to you. And when you pray, you speak to God. This is the key to living a sanctified life, a life of sexual purity. You don’t find power in a program. Your power comes from God alone. As Peter says in his second letter, God, through His divine power, “has given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that has called us to glory and virtue.” You avail yourself of this divine power through daily, abundant communion with God.

Read God’s Word daily

If you have been in bondage to pornography for any length of time, you know that reading the Bible has not been at the top of your daily to-do list. You have been living out the truth of the maxim: “The Bible will keep you from sin, or sin will keep you from the Bible.” Well, that can change, starting today. Make a dramatic change in your life by setting your alarm clock one hour earlier. Then, get up, and before you pick up your phone or do anything else, spend the first 60 minutes of your day with the Lord. Read day-by-day through a book of the Bible. Each morning, look for a promise to claim, a command to obey, an example to follow, or a sin to avoid.

Talk to God daily

Spending time in daily Bible reading and meditation is vital if you are to quit porn biblically. But also vital is spending time talking with God. You do this through prayer. Every morning, spend an hour with the Lord. Spend the first 30 minutes reading the Bible. Then spend the last 30 minutes talking with God. If you have been enslaved to porn for a while, you are likely out of practice talking to God. Learn to pray again by seeing prayer as a series of concentric circles. Start in the middle with praise to God. Then pray for your needs. Then move out to the next circle and pray for your family. Then pray for your church family and work. Finally, pray for the needs of the world.

Keep short accounts with God

Have you discovered that, the more you sin sexually, the less you desire to talk with God? The remedy is to keep short accounts. In accounting, to “keep short accounts” means to keep your accounts-payable paid up and to never allow them to become extended. With God, you keep short accounts by never allowing sin in your life to go unconfessed for more than 24 hours. You make yourself accountable to God daily. You never carry the sins of yesterday forward to today, or the sins of last week forward to this week. As soon as you sin, you confess to God. You ask God to forgive you and cleanse you. To quit porn, keep short accounts with God.

Consecrate yourself to the Lord daily

God wants all of you. Your will. Your affections. Your devotion. The works. One way to give God what He wants is to consecrate yourself to Him daily. You obey the command found in Romans 6:13: “Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness.” You present yourself to God. You make yourself available to Him, to use you as He sees fit. Consecrating yourself to God in this way each day keeps your focus on God and His will for your life, which includes abstaining from porn.

Eliminate Porn

Make no provision for the flesh

The primary way to quit porn is to avoid it in the first place. And one way to avoid it is to make no provision for it. This is the command that you and I have from the Apostle Paul in Romans 13:14: “Make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.” Provision in the Greek means advance knowledge, forethought, foresight. It means to either enable or to allow for something to happen. Since you are commanded to make no provision for the flesh, you are to do the opposite of enabling your flesh, the opposite of allowing something to happen. You purposefully think of those people and places and things that encourage or tempt you to fulfil your lusts, and you avoid them.

Clean out your offline past & present

Sexual temptation is primarily a proximity sin. If there is something lying around nearby that is likely to tempt you to look at porn, it likely will. To quit porn, you must avoid sexual temptation. And you avoid sexual temptation by cleaning out your bedroom, house, garage, attic, cottage, boat, backpack, workplace, glove compartment, locker and everywhere else of the things that you know are going to trip you up. If you are over the age of 40, many of these things will be old-school porn. I’m talking adult magazines, books, and videos. But I’m also talking about photos of old girlfriends and crushes, love letters, souvenirs and keepsakes. If anything has any chance of tempting you to look at porn, pluck it out and throw it away.

Clean out your digital past & present

If you have been looking at porn for any length of time, you have a collection by now. In the old days, this collection was something that men kept hidden in the garage or out back in the tool shed. Today, your porn collection is likely entirely digital. To quit porn, you must destroy this digital source of temptation. Go though all of your computers and your phone, and delete every tempting photo, video, chat, tweet, and message. Boot up your web browser and delete every bookmark that leads to a porn site. Visit the account page of every site where you have a membership, or a subscription, or a free account, and delete each one. If anything electronic or online causes you to sin, pluck it out, and throw it away.

Walk with a limp

Jesus says: “If your hand or foot causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you. It is better for you to enter into life lame or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet, to be cast into the everlasting fire.” What Jesus expresses here metaphorically, He means literally. Jesus literally wants you to take those things that are helpful, practical, convenient, or valuable to you, as your hands and feet are, and to remove them from your life, brutally and permanently, if they cause you to sin. To quit porn, you must rid your life of anything that tempts you to sin. Doing so will hurt. And people will notice your limp. But who cares, right? You will avoid everlasting fire.

Avoid Porn

The key to biblical victory over porn is avoidance. You don’t quit porn. You avoid porn. This is a vital distinction because porn isn’t something you quit, the way you quit a job and never go back. You are going to face sexual temptation until the day you die, or until the day the Lord returns. So, to avoid porn, you discover the people, places and things in your life that tempt you to seek out and view porn, and you avoid them. Here’s how you do it.

Pluck out your right eye

The biblical way to quit porn is radical, permanent surgery. You discover the things that tempt you to look at porn, and you cut them out of your life and throw them away forever. You obey the command of Jesus, who says, “If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.” Jesus means you must remove anything in your life that is valuable, or convenient, or helpful, if that thing causes you to look with lust. If something tempts you to look at porn, pluck it from your life, and cast it away.

Ask the right question

In your battle to quit porn, don’t ask the wrong question. Is it OK to watch Game of Thrones? Is it OK to be on TikTok? Is it OK to watch Netflix? These are all the wrong questions. Technology changes. Apps come and go. Societal standards for what is pornographic and what isn’t change all the time. So, don’t get hung up on apps, or movie ratings, or the latest show from HBO. The only question you must ask is this: Does it cause me to look with lust? Does this show, this app, this book, this movie, cause me to look with lust and sin against God? If it does, you must obey Jesus and pluck it from your life, and cast it away.

Throw it away

Avoiding sexual temptation in the moment is useless if you allow that person, place, or thing to tempt you to sin again. You must obey Jesus, who says, “If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and CAST IT FROM YOU.” You scroll past the images of half-naked women on Instagram, then you delete your account. You look the other way when sexually suggestive commercials appear on TV, then you throw out your TV. This is what Jesus means by plucking out your right eye and casting it from you. You must pluck it out when tempted, then cast it from you so that it never tempts you again. This isn’t easy. But, as Jesus says, it is profitable, because it prevents you from being cast into hell.

If in doubt, pluck it out

When Jesus says you are to pluck out your right eye and cast it away if it causes you to look with lust, He is talking about taking drastic, permanent action to avoid sin. So, let’s get practical. If Snapchat causes you to look at inappropriate images and videos, delete your account. If Instagram causes you to gape at women, delete your account. If TikTok tempts you to think sexually immoral thoughts about the women who post there, delete your account. The same goes for every app, every streaming service, every website, that causes you to look with lust. Cancel it, delete it, block it, and never go back. To quit porn, you must take drastic, permanent action.

Pay the price required

The irony of porn is that you watch it for free but you have to pay dearly to stop watching. I present as Exhibit A the clear command of Jesus on the subject of lusting at women with your eyes. Jesus says: “If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you.” If you want to conquer lust and sexual sin, if you want to put porn behind you, you must pay this heavy price that Jesus demands. Literally plucking out your right eye will cost you half of your eyesight. Your stereoscopic vision and depth perception will vanish. People will stare at you, and label you a fanatic. Quitting porn will cost you plenty. Are you willing to pay the price?

Understand How You Are Tempted

When journalists want to get to the bottom of a news story, they ask the Five Ws. They ask about the Who, What, Why, Where, and When. If you want to conquer sexual temptation, particularly the temptation to look at pornography or to masturbate, you must uncover the Five Ws of your sexual temptation. Get these insights by asking the Five Ws.

Who tempts you?

One way to avoid looking at pornography is to discover who you are attracted to. You are not attracted to all women in equal measure. You have a preference. You have a type. To gain victory over sexual temptation, you must avoid your type. Job avoided young virgins. Joseph avoided Potiphar’s wife. Sampson should have avoided prostitutes. Jesus says you are to avoid any woman who causes you to lust with your eyes. To get victory over sexual temptation, you must discover by whom you are tempted. Sexual temptation always has an object. You lust after someone in particular. You must discover who that someone is. Once you discover the Who of your sexual temptation, you are prepared to avoid them.

What tempts you?

One big advantage of sexual temptation is that it’s predictable. Once you start paying attention, you discover that you are repeatedly tempted by the same things. If you want to conquer your illicit sexual urges, particularly the temptation to look at porn, you must uncover your unique What. Then you’ll be ready to take steps to avoid those triggers. You have the insights you need to avoid those things, to abstain from those activities, to abandon those pastimes. Which brings me to the other big advantage of sexual temptation. The results you gain by avoiding porn are also predictable. You sin less. You feel less shame. You experience less guilt. Not a bad return on investment for doing a wee bit of homework on yourself, eh?

Why are you tempted?

You are tempted to look at porn because you are wicked. There, I’ve said it. I’ve said it because just about everyone else you consult will tell you that you view pornography for other reasons. You look at porn because you suffered a spiritual wound as a child. You visit pornographic websites because you need a “drug” to dull your pain. You watch porn because you are an addict. No, no, and no. You watch porn because your heart is wicked, because you enjoy it, and because you desire it. So, please don’t search anywhere else but the Bible to discover why you look at porn. Because you already know why–you desire porn because your heart is wicked. That’s one good reason you should quit, eh?

Where are you tempted?

King David was tempted sexually while on the rooftop of his house. Joseph was tempted at work. Sampson was tempted during a walk. What about you? Where are you most likely to be tempted to look at porn? If you want to achieve sexual purity, you must understand your Where.  You know the places that are most dangerous for you to visit. You know the locations where you have fallen to the sin of pornography. If you still aren’t sure, draw up a list. Catalog where you have fallen. List every building, every room, every place. You must understand where you are tempted to look at porn so that you avoid those places from now on. Porn is destructive. You literally don’t want to go there.

When are you tempted?

To gain victory over sexual temptation, you must discover when temptation usually strikes. Discovering when you are tempted to sin sexually helps you anticipate sexual temptation–and fight it off. The key thing to remember about your When is that it’s predictable. It’s predictable because it follows a pattern. Once you start paying attention to how you are tempted, and by whom you are tempted, and where you are tempted, you also discover when you are tempted. You notice that sexual temptation arrives in predictable ways, in common places, and at predictable times. This insight gives you the power you need to be on your guard when you know you are likely to be tempted.

Don’t Resist Temptation—Flee

The key to not looking at porn is managing sexual temptation

The key thing to remember about quitting porn is that you don’t quit porn. Pornography isn’t something you leave behind, the way you leave one country to emigrate to another. The key to not looking at porn anymore is managing sexual temptation. People who quit smoking know that victory comes by managing their nicotine cravings. Alcoholics who give up drink learn that sobriety comes by managing the urge to pick up the bottle. This is a vital thing for you to understand, believe, and put into practice. You don’t quit porn. You manage temptation. You don’t conquer porn, or defeat porn, or even forsake porn. You overcome the temptation to search for porn. You conquer the desire to look at porn. So, don’t think about quitting porn. Think about defeating temptation.

Stop thinking your problem is porn

If you want to quit porn, stop thinking about porn. Stop thinking of your struggle in terms of websites, apps, videos, and images. Start thinking of your battle as the one you have with yourself. Because that is where you find victory. You don’t conquer porn and leave it behind. You attain, and maintain sexual purity, by managing sexual temptation. After all, your battle isn’t with porn, exactly. Your battle is with yourself, with your wicked desires, your sinful lusts, your sexually immoral fantasies. This is where you win the victory. Not by fighting porn. But by fighting the desire to search, the temptation to look. Your enemy isn’t porn. Your enemy is temptation. Beat temptation, and you beat porn.

Sexual sin is a process, not an act

One thing to understand about sexual immorality is that it isn’t an act as much as a sequence of events that ends in an act. Take porn, for instance. The act of looking at porn is simply the end result of a chain of events. First, you have a craving. You feel an urge to seek out porn. So you get out your phone. You browse to that site. You search for that term. Then you look. And look some more. Then you consummate the looking by doing you-know-what with yourself. Notice that the final act in this sordid play began with a simple temptation. If you long to quit porn, you must learn how to respond when you get that initial craving. You quit porn forever only by overcoming temptation daily, even hourly.

Why you have to flee temptation

When the Apostle Paul wrote to the church at Corinth and told them to “flee sexual immorality,” he was commanding them to take an action that’s backed up by modern science. You likely know from experience that resisting sexual temptation gets progressively harder the longer you try to resist. That’s because looking at porn releases dopamine into your brain. Dopamine is a chemical messenger between your brain cells. Watching porn releases unnaturally high levels of dopamine. You feel a sense of euphoria and bliss. Watching porn feels awesome. But dopamine also acts as a reward system. It motivates you to repeat the activities that release the dopamine, namely, looking at porn and masturbating. So, to avoid the sin, avoid the dopamine. In other words, flee sexual temptation.

Detour before the dopamine

Sexual sin isn’t an act, but a sequence of events that ends in an act. The sequence starts with a trigger, often an image you see. That’s followed by a thought, usually whether you should keep looking. Then comes the chemical release, the dopamine that travels to your brain, and feels good. Then your body changes. Your pulse increases, your breathing increases, you begin to get aroused. If you want to quit porn, and to avoid the physical act that goes with it, detour before the dopamine kicks in. As soon as you encounter something sexually tempting, hop off the temptation train. The longer you stay on, the farther down the track you travel, and the harder it is to hop off as the train accelerates.

Don’t resist temptation (flee)

One vital truth to understand about sexual temptation is that you don’t resist. You flee. Temptation isn’t something you fight. It’s something you escape. This is what Paul commands you to do when he tells you to “flee sexual immorality,” and to “flee youthful lusts. Not, “stand and fight.” Not, “pray about it.” Not, “wrestle with the temptation.” What, then? Run away. As soon as you see a pornographic image, flee. When you feel lust building up inside, escape. When you hear a solicitation to sin sexually, run for your life. Don’t stay where you are. Don’t remain in the same spot, hoping to put up an adequate defense. Don’t stay and pray. Run. You quit porn by managing temptation. And you manage temptation by running away.

Use God’s way of escape

Not a single sexual temptation is irresistible. No sexual craving is impossible to overcome. God promises that, in every temptation, in every trial, He always gives you a way out so that you do not have to sin. Here’s God’s promise to you: “No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.” God always provides a way of escape from sexual temptation. Always. Look around, and you’ll find it.

Grab God’s life preserver

If you are struggling with porn, you may feel as though you are drowning in your sin. Porn is so all-consuming, so seemingly addictive, that you think you have no way to stay afloat. But you do, guaranteed. God always throws you a life preserver. Read 1 Corinthians chapter 10: “No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.” Every time you are tempted to sin by watching porn, God throws you a life preserver. God gives you the way to escape the temptation and not drown. But you have to grab it.

Learn Survival Tactics from Solomon, Joseph, David, & Samson

You don’t have to join a 12-step recovery group to surround yourself with men who struggle with sexual sin the way you do. You can find these men anytime you want, right in your Bible. From these men you learn some vital lessons about how to avoid sexual sin, and how to deal with sexual temptation. We’ll start with Solomon.

Avoid her corner

If you want to quit sexual sin, stop walking though the places in town where you know you’ll find it. This is the advice that Solomon had for his son. He describes the prostitute who solicits business in town from a place that Solomon calls “her corner.” What is Solomon’s advice to his son? “Do not let your heart turn aside to her ways. Do not stray into her paths.” In other words, to overcome sexual temptation, don’t visit the places where you know you’ll find it. This means installing porn-blocking software on your computer, tablet and phone. To quit porn, stop visiting the places where you know you’ll find the immoral woman who leads you into sin. If you want to avoid sexual temptation, avoid her corner.

Leave something behind

If you want to quit porn, expect to leave something behind. A life of sexual purity looks different from one of habitual sexual sin. Just consider the life of Joseph. After Joseph arrived in Egypt as a slave, he became master of the household of Potiphar. Potiphar’s wife noticed that Joseph was “handsome in form and appearance.” She lusted after Joseph, grabbed him by the coat, and invited him to have sex with her. What did Joseph do? “He left his garment in her hand, and fled and ran outside.” This is the pathway to holiness. Victory over porn means forsaking anything that causes you to stumble. So, next time a seductive woman grabs hold of you online and tempts you to sin sexually, run.

Avoid the second look

If you want to gain victory over porn, learn a lesson from King David. The event is recorded in II Samuel, chapter 11, where David is on his rooftop. First, David sees a woman bathing. Then, he continues looking long enough to discern that she is very beautiful. Then, instead of looking away and preventing himself from committing adultery, he sends servants to “inquire about the woman.” David sinned not because of where he was, or because he caught a glimpse of a beautiful woman bathing, but because he kept on looking. Lust starts with the second look, not the first. David’s temptation could have started and ended right there on his rooftop. All he had to do was turn around and walk downstairs.

Use your brakes

When it comes to pornography and sexual temptation, learn a lesson from Samson. The lesson is recorded in Judges, chapter 16. “Now Samson went to Gaza and saw a harlot there, and went in to her.” See what happened? From the moment he saw her to the moment he decided to go in to her, Samson had opportunity to apply the brakes. He could have walked away. But he didn’t. By this time in his life, his moral brakes didn’t work anymore where women were concerned. You and I both have a good set of brakes where porn is concerned. We have the indwelling Holy Spirit. We have the example of Jesus. And we have the clear commands of Scripture. Why not test your brakes today?

Change How You Think

I was hooked on porn for 50 years because I didn’t think straight. I misunderstood sexual sin, I didn’t understand God’s standard for my life, and I didn’t appreciate, once I because a Christian, all of the resources God had given me to live a life of sexual purity. Please don’t follow in my steps. Don’t waste 30 years of your life as a Christian living in sin, ignorance, and defeat. To quit porn, change how you think. Let’s start with the lie you are to avoid.

Admit you have power

If you want to quit porn, don’t believe the first step of the 12 Steps of Celebrate Recovery: “We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors, that our lives had become unmanageable.” That’s a lie. Why? Because the opposite is true. Just read Philippians 4:13: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Now parse it out. Who can conquer porn? You can. How many other sexual sins can you conquer? All sins. How do you conquer porn? Through Christ. How does Christ help you conquer porn? Christ strengthens you. Don’t believe the lie that you are a powerless addict. Christ gives you all the strength you need to quit porn. All you have to do is use it.

Arm yourself with the mind of Christ

Your primary weapon in your war against porn isn’t filtering software, an accountability partner, or a 12-step program. Your primary weapon is your mind, a mind conformed to the mind of Christ. 1 Peter 4:1 says, “Therefore, since Christ suffered for us in the flesh, arm yourselves also with the same mind, for he who has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin, that he no longer should live the rest of his time in the flesh for the lusts of men, but for the will of God.” This means you view sin the way Christ views sin. You respond to temptation the way Christ responded to it. When you arm yourself with the mind of Christ, you can’t watch porn.

Don’t ask God for what he has already supplied

If you want to quit porn, stop asking God for strength to quit. Stop asking God for what He has already given. Read 2 Peter 1:3: “His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue.” If God “has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness,” why do you need to ask Him for anything else that pertains to life and godliness? You don’t. So, stop asking, and start receiving. Stop asking for help, and start using the help that’s already at hand. God says you already possess the divine power that you need to quit porn. It is already yours for the taking. You just have to take it.

Take every thought captive

Sexual temptation thrives in an undisciplined mind. The more you allow your thoughts to wander towards, and entertain, and think about, sexually inappropriate topics, the more likely you are to fall to sexual sin. The cure is “bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.” Every sexually suggestive thought or image or sound that enters your mind has a chance of leading you to watch porn. Sexually tempting thoughts are thoughts that you must bring into captivity by subduing them and ensnaring them. You must act quickly and decisively. If you want to quit porn and conquer sexual temptation, change the way you think. When you change the way you think, you change the way you act.

Abstain from fleshly lusts

If you think your struggle with porn is a battle, take heart–because it is. 1 Peter 2:11 commands you to “abstain from fleshly lusts which war against the soul.” You are engaged in a daily conflict with inordinate bodily, animal, unregenerate desires. These lusts come in the form of sexual fantasies, sexual temptations, sexual urges. Your job as a soldier in this war is to never surrender to your fleshly lusts. When a sinful thought enters your mind, recite a Bible verse. When you are gripped by a sexual urge, take a cold shower, go for a run, lift weights, climb stairs, skip rope, play with your kids. Do whatever you have to so that you abstain from sexual lust.

Say no

Want to know the secret to avoiding sexual temptation? Avoid sexual temptation. Want to know how to say “no” to ungodliness and worldly passions? Say “no” to ungodliness and worldly passions. This is the biblical path to sexual integrity. The secret to not masturbating? Don’t masturbate. The secret to not looking at porn? Don’t look at porn. The guaranteed way to avoid sexual immorality is to avoid sexual immorality. That’s what the Bible says. Read Titus 2:11-12: “The grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say ‘No’ to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age.” To quit porn, say no to ungodliness and worldly passions.

Pursue Holiness

To quit porn, you must run away from it, and turn your back on it. But you must also run towards something else. Or, to be more exact, you must run towards someone else. You must replace your pursuit of sin with your pursuit of God. There is no power in a program. Power over sexual sin, power to live a victorious life, power to live a life that pleases God, comes from God alone. If you want to run away from porn, run towards God. Here’s how you do it.

Pursue holiness

If you want to quit porn and masturbation, run in the right direction. What you run from, and what you run towards, has eternal consequences for your soul. Read Hebrews 12:14: “Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord.” Holiness is something you are to pursue, to chase after. This command appears in the New Testament because this world offers you alternatives to holiness. You have the choice between sexual immorality and sexual purity. You have the option of looking at porn or looking away. You have the choice of pleasuring yourself or pleasuring your wife. You have a choice of two directions to run. If you want to see God, run in the right direction. Pursue holiness.

Beware of your worst source of sexual temptation (you)

In your battle with sexual lust and sexual temptation, you may have fallen into the error of believing that your fight is outward. You may think that your enemy is porn sites, or hookup apps, or strip clubs, or so-called adult magazines, or movies. You may think quitting porn means overcoming outside influences. But your greatest enemy in your fight for sexual purity looks back at you in the mirror each morning. Your worst source of temptation is you. James tells you that, “each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed.” You are tempted by porn because you desire porn. You can’t be tempted by something you don’t desire. So, in your fight to quit porn, start by changing what you desire.

Put lust to death

The most effective cure for sexual temptation is execution. As Paul says, “Therefore put to death your members which are on the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.” Take those parts of your earthly nature that respond to sexual temptation, and put them to death. Kill them. Execute them. Don’t let them live. How? Put tempting thoughts and desires to death by changing the subject. As soon as a lustful thought enters your mind, kill it by thinking of something holy and pure. When an image of a porn actress enters your mind, put that image to death. When a strong sexual desire enters your mind, kill it by reciting Scripture you have memorized.

Be filled with the Spirit

One of the secrets to resisting sexual temptation is “not this, but that.” You avoid the temptation by doing something else instead. This is the essence of what Paul means when he says, “do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit.” In other words, do not be drunk, but be filled. Not with wine, but with the Spirit. Not this, but that. To gain victory in your life over porn and sexual urges, replace the sources of the temptation (the “wine”), with the Spirit. Invite the Spirit into your life. Seek His presence, His guiding, His sanctifying power.

View sexual purity as a walk, not a destination

You won’t find sexual purity on any map. So don’t expect to arrive at a place in your life where you experience zero sexual lust, zero sexual temptation, or zero sexual fantasies. Your goal is to walk properly today. As Paul says in Romans 13:13, “walk properly, as in the day, not in revelry and drunkenness, not in lewdness and lust, not in strife and envy.” Don’t aim to eventually conquer your sexual urges and temptations and sexual sins. Don’t think that working your way through 12 steps of recovery will one day land you at your destination with a halo waiting for you. Sexual purity isn’t a destination you hope to reach tomorrow–it’s a walk you take with the Lord today.