“For in that He Himself has suffered, being tempted, He is able to aid those who are tempted.”
Hebrews 2:18
For decades I followed the advice of Oscar Wilde, who famously said, “The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.” That advice is foolish, of course. But if you have ever been in the grip of a powerful desire to sin sexually, and if that desire has attacked you for some length of time, you know the level of suffering involved. And you know that one way to make that agony end is to simply give in and commit the sin. The temptation vanishes. The suffering ends.
Oscar Wilde was correct in one aspect—giving in to sexual temptation works. But only for a season. If you are feeling unbelievably horny, for example, and are feeling tempted to masturbate, you likely know that giving in and committing the sin makes the temptation go away immediately. You gain instant relief. You are tempted no longer. But not forever. The problem with masturbation is that it releases dopamine into your brain. Dopamine is the neurotransmitter, the “pleasure chemical,” that gives you that feeling of euphoria and bliss, but it also acts as a reward system. Any activity you engage in that triggers dopamine is an activity that your brain wants to repeat, because the activity feels so good.
Whether an act is sinful or not makes no difference to the dopamine in your body. Whether an activity is addicting or dangerous in the long run is also irrelevant. Your brain enjoys that dopamine high, and your brain wants to repeat any activity that delivers it. Cocaine delivers a dopamine high. Jack Daniel’s delivers a dopamine high. So does winning at the roulette table. And eating a box of milk chocolate M&M’s. And masturbating. None of these things are good for you in excess. But excess is where you are headed if you give in to the agony of sexual temptation in order to make it go away. Overcoming a temptation to masturbate by masturbating makes the suffering end at once, but not for long. You will be tempted again, only the temptation will be stronger next time, and the attacks will arrive more frequently.
The problem with Oscar Wilde’s advice is that I only heard part of it. His famous line appears in his novel, The Picture of Dorian Gray, the story of a young man who sells his soul so that he can live a life of debauchery while remaining young and handsome. Here is the full quote from the book:
“The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself, with desire for what its monstrous laws have made monstrous and unlawful.”
Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray
Oscar Wilde is ultimately wrong because giving in to temptation is not the only way to get rid of it. The protagonist in Wilde’s book wants to engage in acts that are “monstrous and unlawful.” He wants to prevent his soul from growing sick with longing for those things that God forbids. Oscar Wilde was an ungodly author who wrote an ungodly book about an ungodly man. Any advice I took from the author or his protagonist was a mistake. A mistake that cost me decades of willful, sinful behavior against my God.
God promises that you and I can overcome sexual temptation by avoiding it, by fleeing it, by resisting it, and by taking the way of escape that God always supplies whenever we are tempted. Christ suffered when He was tempted, which means He is able to aid you and me whenever we are tempted. Following God’s book is the only way to go. The author and finisher of our faith is the only author I follow these days.
Need a daily kick in the pants to quit porn biblically? Buy the book, or subscribe to my daily kick.
Was this post helpful? Share it now:
