I sinned sexually, repeatedly, because I lied to myself. I lied so often that I eventually believed my lies.

illustration of a wooden marionette with long nose; liar concept

I viewed porn for the first time when I was 11 years old and for the last time when I was 61. That’s 50 years of sinning against God, 30 of them as a Christian. I sinned repeatedly because I lied to myself. I lied so often that I eventually believed my lies. But that all changed on November 4, 2021, when I purposed before God to never look at anything wicked ever again, and to never masturbate ever again. Here I am, 366 days later, living what I purposed back then. I have a year of victory under my belt (excuse the metaphor) partly because I no longer believe those lies I told myself. Here they are. See if you tell any of them to yourself.

Lie #1: God Doesn’t See
When I view pornographic images and videos, I tell myself that God doesn’t see. I sin in secret. But God does see.

Lie #2: It’s Not Adultery
Jesus says that I commit adultery when I look at a woman to lust after her. But I lie to myself. “I don’t commit adultery unless I do the physical act,” I assure myself. But I am


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No matter how strong the urges are, regardless of how powerful the temptation is to sin sexually, you can abstain from sexual immorality today.

Today, if you will hear His voice, do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion.

Hebrews 3:15

One of the challenges of quitting pornography is that you have a past that shames you and a future that terrifies you. If you are like many Christian men, you have a history of looking at sexually explicit images and videos in secret. The remorse and guilt you carry for your past behavior is immense. And, again, if you are like many of your brothers in the Lord who struggle in this area, you cannot imagine a future where you are free from your bondage. The grip of porn seems too hard to beak. So, your past looks bad, and your future looks bleak.

But take courage with this thought: you don’t have to quit porn for good, just for today. Naturally, you want victory over your sexual sin to last, but the way to achieve your goal is to work only on today. Take your eyes off tomorrow, and next month, and next year. Fix


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I have an offline enemy who has legs. He follows me and tempts me when I am offline. Now I know.

Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.

1 Peter 5:8

If you are a Christian man, or any man for that matter, who struggles with the sin of looking at pornography, you likely fight your battle online. Most porn these days is found on websites, on apps, in discussion forums, and in other places on the internet. To stay clear of porn, you likely guard your steps online. You try to avoid going online to sin. But one thing to remember about lust is that it can strike you offline, too.

The Devil, as far as I know, has no preference when it comes to tempting you and me to fall to sexual sin. He is a multichannel menace. I learned this firsthand yesterday while shopping. I was standing in the checkout line at Bulk Barn (a local bulk retailer), a bag of wine gums in hand, minding my own business, when I noticed a vision of loveliness standing in front of me. I knew better than to g


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God has a crown prepared for you. It’s in your size. To receive it you must do something by not doing something.

Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.

James 1:12

I don’t suppose you think often about the positive side of sexual temptation. For example, when you are in the midst of a struggle with lust, or when you are battling against the temptation to look at porn or to masturbate, I don’t imagine that you think about any rewards that could possibly come with those struggles. I know that I never did.

But the Apostle James tells us that there is a blessing attached to temptation. There is good that comes out of sexual temptation. That blessing comes directly from the hand of God. The man who is tempted sexually will receive a blessing from God. He will receive the crown of life. There’s just one condition.

Endurance.

The man w


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If I am still tempted by porn, then I must still desire it, at some level, to some degree. If I didn’t desire it, it couldn’t tempt me.

But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.

James 1:14

One of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn about pornography is that I am tempted by it because I desire it. Yes, I call porn wicked. I say I hate it. I say I want to be free of it. But the fact remains that I am tempted by pornography still. And I am tempted by it because I desire it.

I am telling you this because this knowledge is part of your path to freedom. Your enemy isn’t only outward. Your enemy isn’t just pornographic websites or immodest women or Instagram or TikTok. Your principal enemy is lust. Your lust. Your enemy is internal.

James tells you and me that “each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed.” For you and me to be drawn away by something, we must first


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The best means of resisting the devil is, to destroy whatever of the world remains in us, in order to raise for God, upon its ruins, a building all of love.

The best means of resisting the devil is to destroy whatever of the world remains in us in order to raise for God, upon its ruins, a building all of love. Then shall we begin, in this fleeting life, to love God as we shall love him in eternity. If, after having renounced all, we do not watch incessantly, and beseech God to accompany our vigilance with his, we shall be again entangled and overcome.

John Wesley


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Nine months ago, I had no experience with lasting victory over sexual temptation. That has changed, and I’ve learned a vital, encouraging lesson.

The Good News about Sexual Temptation | Luke 4:13

And when the devil had ended all the temptation, he departed from him for a season.

Luke 4:13

Sexual temptation seems unbearable when you are in the midst of it. Or perhaps I should speak for myself. Sexual temptation seems unbearable when I am in the midst of it. That is my “lived experience,” as they say these days. But I know something today about temptation that I didn’t know and that I couldn’t have believed nine months ago—it doesn’t last.

That’s right. The temptation to look at pornography, the temptation to masturbate, no matter how strong, eventually goes away. It doesn’t last. The good news about Jesus being tempted in the wilderness for 40 days, if I may put it this way, is that it lasted only 40 days. Jesus got the victory over the devil, and then the devil departed from Him. That’s the good news of temptation—it only lasts for a season.

Nine months ago, I had no experien


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We should not think that we stand immune to sexual temptation. Healthy progress along the path of sexual purity does not cure us of temptation.

Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall.

1 Corinthians 10:12

There is no vaccine that protects you against sexual temptation. There are no treatments you can take, no courses you can complete, no self-help groups you can join, that will prevent you from being tempted to look at pornography or to masturbate. You may find ways to reduce your symptoms, but you will always have the disease of sexual immorality lurking about your body.

This is the sad but true reality for Christian men. No matter how sanctified we become, no matter how close we draw to the Lord, we are still vulnerable to sexual temptation. I am not saying that we will be tempted, or that we will fall when tempted. I am simply saying that healthy progress along the path of sexual purity does not cure us of temptation.

This is partly what Paul is referring to when he tells the believers in Corinth to beware if the


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We hug the poison, and twist willingly with the vipers, till they bring us into the regions of an irrecoverable sorrow.

There are some vices which carry a sword in their hand, and cut a man off before his time. There is a sword of the Lord, and there is a sword of a man, and there is a sword of the devil. Every vice of our own managing in the matter of carnality, of lust or rage, ambition or revenge, is a sword of Satan put into the hands of a man: these are the destroying angels; sin is the Apollyon, the destroyer that is gone out, not from the Lord, but from the tempter; and we hug the poison, and twist willingly with the vipers, till they bring us into the regions of an irrecoverable sorrow. We use to reckon persons as good as dead if they have lost their limbs and their teeth, and are confined to a hospital, and converse with none but surgeons and physicians, mourners and divines, those paltinctores, the dressers of bodies and souls to funeral; but it is worse when the soul, the principle of life, is employed wholly in the offices of death, and that man was worse than dead of whom Seneca tells, that being a rich fool, when he was lifted up from the baths and set into a soft couch, asked his slaves, As ego jam sedeo?


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If you want to get victory over pornography, you must discover and deal with your triggers. You likely have dozens.

When Did You Pluck Out Your Eye? | Matthew 5:29

If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.

Matthew 5:29

When is the last time you plucked out your right eye and cast it away from you? I am not being sarcastic. I am asking you in earnest because this principle is one of the keys to conquering pornography, lust, sexual temptation and sexual immorality in your life. The path to sexual purity requires knowing and conquering your triggers.

When Jesus said, “If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you,” He was speaking in the context of adultery. He had just said, “whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Then he gave the remedy. If your right eye causes you to sin by lusting after women, then pluck it out and cast it away from you.

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To defeat sexual sin, you must understand yourself. Start with the Five Ws and the One H of your sexual temptation.

To Defeat Porn, Discover Your Who, What, Why, Where, When and How

When journalists want to get to the bottom of a news story, they ask the Five Ws and the One H. They ask about the Who, What, Why, Where, When and How. If you want to conquer sexual temptation, particularly the temptation to look at pornography or to masturbate, you must uncover the Five Ws and the One H of your sexual temptation. To defeat sexual sin, you must understand yourself. And that means discovering your six types of triggers.

Who Triggers You to Sin Sexually?

Let’s start with the Who of sexual temptation. Who tempts you to commit sexual sin? Who do you lust after? Who lusts after you?

As you read your Bible, you discover that men have been tempted to sin sexually for centuries. Most of them were tempted to sin with a particular woman. Job was tempted to lust after


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Overcoming a temptation to sin sexually makes the suffering end at once. But not for long.

The Remedy for Temptation is Not to Give In | Hebrews 2:18

“For in that He Himself has suffered, being tempted, He is able to aid those who are tempted.”
Hebrews 2:18

For decades I followed the advice of Oscar Wilde, who famously said, “The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.” That advice is foolish, of course. But if you have ever been in the grip of a powerful desire to sin sexually, and if that desire has attacked you for some length of time, you know the level of suffering involved. And you know that one way to make that agony end is to simply give in and commit the sin. The temptation vanishes. The suffering ends.

Oscar Wilde was correct in one aspect—giving in to sexual temptation works. But only for a season. If you are feeling unbelievably horny, for example, and are feeling tempted to masturbate, you likely know that giving in and committing the sin makes the temptation go away immediately. You gain instant relief. You are tempted no longer. But not forever. The problem with m


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The secret to resisting sexual temptation is knowing not just the what of escape, but also the when. You must take God’s way of escape when He offers it. You must take your U-turn when you are given the chance.

“No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.”
1 Corinthians 10:13

Sexual sin is not an act, but a sequence. It begins with a trigger, and ends with an act. If you want to avoid the sinful act at the end of the sequence, you must make a U-turn long before you get there. If you want to take the way of escape that God always offers when you are tempted, you must know when to take it.

This is the key to understanding the promise of 1 Corinthians 10:13—timing. Don’t expect God to offer you a door, or a window, or some other physical means of escape when you are tempted sexually. The way of escape that God provides is a window of opportunity, typically measured in mere minutes, maybe even just seconds. If you want to avoid the sexual sin, you mu


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Sexual purity comes when you change what you believe. Or, rather, when you change who you believe.

Sexual Sin Starts Between Your Ears

“And supper being ended, the devil having already put it into the heart of Judas Iscariot, Simon’s son, to betray Him.”
John 13:2

Your battle for sexual purity takes place in your mind. You may think that pornographic websites are the enemy, or that immodestly dressed women are the problem. You may even think you are an addict. But if you watch pornography habitually, if you masturbate compulsively, but long to quit, you must first realize that you don’t have a sexual problem—you have a thinking problem.

Your enemy is the devil. And the battleground is your mind. The devil puts thoughts and desires and beliefs into your mind, just as he did with Judas. Judas probably thought that betraying Jesus was his idea. But where did that idea come from in the first place? From the devil. The devil put the thought of betrayal into the heart of Judas.

In the Bible, the heart refers to


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Two men may face the same conditions; one falls, the other stands.

Lonely man walking in the sand looking at the calm sea, surreal minimal seascape

In the last analysis it is not the temptations that meet us on the streets that determine our conduct; it is the heart of the man who faces them. Two men may face the same conditions; one falls, the other stands. The difference is not in the temptation, but in the heart of the man.

Excerpted from The Unsearchable Riches of Christ: Studies in Ephesians by Martin Lloyd-Jones. Public domain.


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Even those that are freed from Satan’s dominion are not free from his molestation.

Illustration of man catching butterfly, surreal minimal concept

Christ has not freed believers, in this world, from the temptations and assaults of Satan: even those that are freed from his dominion are not free from his molestation. It is said indeed, Rom. 16:20. “God shall shortly bruise Satan under your feet:” But mean time he has power to bruise and buffet us by his injections, 2 Cor. 12:7. He now bruiseth Christ’s heel, Gen. 3:10. i. e. bruiseth him in his tempted and afflicted members: Though he cannot kill them, yet he can and doth afflict and fright them, by shooting his fiery darts of temptation among them, Eph. 6:16. It is true, when the saints are got safe into heaven they are out of gunshot; there is perfect freedom from all temptation. A believer may then say, O thou enemy, temptations are come to a perpetual end. I am now arrived there, where none of thy fiery darts can reach me: But this freedom is not yet.

Excerpted from The Method of Grace in the Gospel Redemption</em

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We have been given the power to close the door of the mind.

All the great staining temptations, to selfishness, ambition, and other strong sins that violently affront the soul, appear first in the region of the mind, and can be fought and conquered there. We have been given the power to close the door of the mind. We can lose this power through disuse or increase it by use, by the daily discipline of the inner man in things which seem small and by reliance upon the word of the Spirit of Truth. “It is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of His good pleasure.” It is as though He said, “Learn to live in your will, not in your feelings.”

Excerpted from Gold by Moonlight by Amy Carmichael. Public domain.


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Acquaint yourself with prayer. Make Christ your Captain and your armour. Make conscience of sinning when no eye seeth you.

Illustration of man climbing a rope in the sky, ascension surreal abstract concept

I wish that ye take pains for salvation. Mistaken grace, and somewhat like conversion which is not conversion, is the saddest and most doleful thing in the world. Make sure of salvation, and lay the foundation sure, for many are beguiled. Put a low price upon the world’s clay; but a high price upon Christ. Temptations will come, but if they be not made welcome by you, ye have the best of it. Be jealous over yourself and your own heart, and keep touches with God. Let Him not have a faint and feeble soldier of you. Fear not to back Christ, for He will conquer and overcome. Let no man scaur at Christ, for I have no quarrels at His cross; He and His cross are two good guests, and worth the lodging. Men would fain have Christ good-cheap; but the market will not come down. Acquaint yourself with prayer. Make Christ your Captain and your armour. Make conscience of sinning when no eye seeth you. Grace be with you.

Excerpted from Letters of Samuel Rutherford</e

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You respond to pornography because you desire it. You can’t be tempted by something you don’t desire. If you want to gain victory over your temptations, replace your desires.

Your compulsive use of pornography is a heart issue. Sure, you live in a hyper-sexualized culture. And sure, pornography is attractive because it’s available, affordable and anonymous, and because it gives you a dopamine hit on queue. But your porn problem isn’t outside of you. You can’t blame anyone when you fall to temptation.

Likewise with the multiple remedies on the market for helping “porn addicts.” Therapy, sexual addiction clinics, 12-step recovery groups, internet porn filters, rubber bands on your wrist, accountability partners and more all have their place. These are external aids that may help you gain victory over your compulsive sexual sin. But you can’t blame anyone, or any group, or any technology, when you give in to temptation and watch pornography.

You know this, and I know this, because God’s Word is clear on the matter. You are drawn to watch pornography by an inward compulsion. That compulsion is lust. Read all about it in the New Testament book of James:

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The promises in the New Testament that are for all believers in this age are also for you as an individual. So claim them as your own. See what happens.

Overcome temptation by making Bible promises personal.

If you want to put the sins of pornography and sexual immorality behind you, take the promises of God that you find in the New Testament, and make them personal. Find the passages that promise victory over sin to believers in general, and apply them to you in particular.

For example, if your primary battle is with the temptation to look at pornography, then find a promise in the New Testament where God tells Christians how they are to get victory over temptation. Consider the tenth chapter of the book of 1 Corinthians, for instance, where the Apostle Paul writes:

“No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.”

1 Corinthians 10:13

Th


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Every time you are tempted to sin sexually, God always makes the way of escape. Every time. Always. But you must grab it.

Vidtory over porn always within reach | 1 Corinthians 10:13

Imagine for a moment that you are drowning. I am walking along the promenade and see you in the water, thrashing about and screaming for me to save you. Hanging on the sea wall is a life preserver. I remove it, unfurl the rope, and hurl the life preserver into the water beside you. You see the life preserver. But you ignore it and continue thrashing about, screaming for me to save you. I scream back at you, “Grab the life preserver!” But you decline. You refuse my help. You drown.

If you are struggling with pornography, you may feel as though you are drowning in your sin. Pornography is so all-consuming, so seemingly addictive and powerful that you have no way to resist it. Your situation appears hopeless. But do you not know that God always throws you a life preserver in the midst of your temptations? Read 1 Corinthians chapter 10:

“No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will no

“No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will no


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Every time you are tempted to look at pornography, God provides the way of escape you need in that moment. But you must take it.

Proven Escape from Pornography. | 1 Co 10:13

You are not addicted to pornography. You may view it compulsively. It may have a destructive grip on your life. But you don’t have to view it. You are not powerless in its presence. You know this already.

First, you know that, given the right disincentive or the right incentive, you will not look at pornography. As John Piper says, “if the stakes are high enough and sure enough, you will have all the self-control you need to conquer any sexual temptation.” If a terrorist walks in while you are about to look at porn and threatens to slit your throat if you do, you will have all the self-control you need to not look. You are not addicted. Or, in the same situation, if someone walks in with a briefcase containing $1 million in exchange for you not looking at porn, you will not look. You will have self-control. You are not addicted.

Second, you know you are not addict


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The proven, biblical way to defeat pornography, avoid sex outside of marriage, and conquer other forms of sexual immorality isn’t to fight or resist or pray. You must flee.

flee sexual immorality 1 Co 6:18

Are you looking for a proven way to quit pornography? Would you like to know a tactic that your Christian brothers have been using for almost 2,000 years to defeat lust, a tactic that still works today? If God has spoken on this topic, do you want to hear what He has to say?

Then open your Bible and turn to the book of 1 Corinthians. Here you find the remedy for avoiding pornography summed up in one word: flee.

“Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.”

1 Corinthians 6:18

If you want to defeat pornography in your life, flee. If you need to conquer masturbation, flee. If you want to avoid having sex with your girlfriend or fiancé until you are married, flee.

The phrase “sexual immorality” in this passage is the Greek word porneian, which comes from <


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If you are serious about quitting porn, make a covenant with your eyes. And while you’re at it, make a covenant with your phone, computer and TV, and anything else that tempts you to sin sexually. For men, sexual sin typically starts with the eyes. So make a covenant with your eyes. Do it now. And then keep that covenant.

You prove you are serious about higher education by earning a post-graduate degree. You demonstrate your commitment to your field by maintaining a professional certification. And you demonstrate your commitment to a woman with a marriage license (and a marriage, of course).

But what about your commitment to quitting porn? How do you prove to yourself, to your wife or girlfriend, to God, that you are serious about gaining victory over your habitual sexual sin? With a covenant. A covenant with your eyes.

A covenant is a solemn, binding agreement that defines the relationship between two individuals. A covenant always has a stipulated goal to do, or not do, something. And a covenant has consequences. There are blessings if both people keep the covenant, and there are penalties if one person breaks the covenant.

You read in the Old Testament about a man called Job who was tempted by his eyes to sin. This is what he did about it, in his own words:

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